i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
