just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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