I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
