if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
