He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
