What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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