We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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