he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
