I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
