the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
