I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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