yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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