Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
