I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're a waste of cheezeits
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
