i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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