when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
