I need help removing her.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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