Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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