i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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