NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
These tits shall not be calmed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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