i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
