I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
