Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
false alarm, still single
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
