is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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