Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
