Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
