Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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