I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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