i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
