If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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