I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
