This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
