I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
