Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
