So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
