Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
