We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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