just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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