Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
