All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
