Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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