You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
