She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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