a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
