We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
