I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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