you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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