Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
