that's an acceptable place to lick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I will pee on everything he values.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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