I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
